Sunday, 18 November 2012

1. Broken

"That's it Nicki, you're doing really well." The nurse's hands felt cold and clammy on her bare legs. Silence drowned everything out, not the good kind either. More deathly than anything. "Take your time baby." Exhaling through her nose slowly she shut her eyes and let her head fall back. It was just herself and the nurse occupying the empty room.

"I can't." The words flowed from her mouth as a breath rather than a short sentence.

"You're almost there, just a couple more pushes and it'll be over." Feeling another contraction starting she shifted to a more comfortable position, she didn't want it to be over though. This moment would be the only one she'd share with this baby. Her first child. Once again the eery calmness of the room seemed to emphasise every uncomfortable, pain-filled breath she took. Those sharp breaths soon turned into heart-wrenching mewls as the tears left tiny glistening trails on her heated face. She knew giving birth was hard for any woman but it was so much more difficult for her. She'd only just entered her third trimester and at her scheduled appointment they could find no heartbeat. That day would be one she'd never forget, it was going to follow her to the grave. Just knowing that she was going through all of this and at the end of it all she'd be leaving empty-handed, snatching away all emotion and motivation from her mind. They'd induced her labour only a couple of hours ago and with the help of this one nurse she was about to meet her baby boy for the first and last time. "Okay the hard part's over Nicki, his head is out. Just keep breathing and focus on that."

"Mmm." She let the air leave her lungs in one long exhalation before speaking breathlessly. "It hurts so much."

"I know it does but it's almost over." She smiled sympathetically at the twenty-three year old laying on the bed in front of her, rubbing her leg comfortingly. "Nice deep breaths, okay?"

It went on for less than twenty more minutes before his tiny body was pulled from her, wrapped in a blue blanket and placed in her arms. She was reluctant at first, knowing that she'd never want to let him go. The nurse left her alone for a while, allowing her to savour the moment with him. She stroked his little hand before holding it in her own. He looked peaceful, which comforted her but didn't stop the sorrowful tears continue to stream from her eyes. He looked like his Dad, and she felt it was only right that he was named after such an honourable man. She had no doubt in her mind that he'd be up there looking out for his son, and someday they'd meet again. All three of them.


* I just wanted to see how people would like this, obviously if nobody takes to it I'll just discontinue it :) Hope it was alright and yes it's DRICKI :))*


  1. Okay, it's official I don't know how u do it Carlee but you're like a freaking genius! Where do u get these ideas from?! I loved this...It is gonna be a fic right? Not just a one post thing? :o
    It was so so so sad though!
    Please post soon. x

  2. I cant believe that Nicki's baby is dead. I really hope that she will be ok after all of this. Please continue Carlee.

  3. OMFGGGGGGG you have me in tears and it is only 7am :( I can't believe she gave birth to a stillborn. Please do continue with this story! ~ Jessie_Barbie

  4. Omgggggggg :((((((( like nooooo!!! So not only did her husband/boyfriend died, but her son, the only thing she had left of him is gone as well?! Poor Nicki!! Please continue!!!!

  5. I'm so confused :/. So Nicki's boyfriend or husband is dead? and she gave birth to a stillborn? - TheOVOBarbie

  6. Another story, Carlee?! I have NO idea how you manage, but I love you for it!

    Awww, a stillborn? My poor baby. :( & the baby's father has passed too? Awww OMG.

    Definitely interested in seeing where this goes. Keep up the FABULOUS work, M'dear.<33